Another step forward

I was feeling slightly depressed earlier today.  I fell into the pit of feeling that no matter what I do, I can never quite get on my feet.  I guess it is like when there is an earthquake happening; every time you try to stand to run, another shock hits and you're on your duff again.  I get in these feelings periodically.  I imagine it's a normal part of a mindset where we judge ourselves by what we possess, what the Jones' have, and the level of security we derive from this game.  This is not the game I want to play!  I want my vision of my worth to come from within, from that quiet space that resides in the here and now.  I desire my goals to be based on how I can be the person I see me as being rather then the possessions I can squirrel away.  Why is this so hard?  It seems like my daily ritual is to pull myself from the physical world into the spiritual realm.  I guess this is a natural state considering the culture in which I was raised and where I interact with my senses.  But, I think I have a possible solution, at least in a partial sense.  I just finished reading a book called "Born To Run" by Christopher McDougall.  Excellent read, especially if one is a runner.  The premise of the book is that our ancestors were designed to run.  Our bodies are the perfect long distance running machine.  As such, we evolved to hunt our food on the hot, dry plains by running it down over a period of hours.  It seems that the "average" distance to achieve this was around 25 miles.  In other words, earlier this month I could have bagged an antelope.  How interesting!  My point is that we as an evolved being should have a sense of joy in running.  In our modern sedentary lifestyle we open ourselves up to all the diseases which depilate our body.  While certainly not for all, I find the prospect of achieving the fitness required to run long distances with that joy my ancestors must have felt an exciting vision.  I have experienced this joy in some short bursts, but only to the extent to know that it is there, it does exist and I am capable of eventually getting there.  I have had times where I just seem to float over the ground, the rhythm  of my running a perfect meditation.  At times like this, I am totally in the moment.  And, being in that moment I find a perfect level of contentment.  So, how do I get there?  I have made the first step by throwing away my running shoes and running with a minimal cushioning between my feet and the ground.  Our feet are a wonderful shock absorbing machine, if we let them do their job.  The more we shelter our feet from the running surface, the less they can do their job.  In fact, the more cushioning we have in our shoes, the more prone we are to injury.  As our shoes have developed our injury rate has risen.  Strange.  I could go into this in greater depth, but I won't bore you with the details.  So maybe this is the answer, my answer.  I believe the process also includes simplifying my diet to exclude all the garbage we put in our bodies on a daily basis.  So, my goal is to get fit and eat healthy food, just those things my sensitivity to chemicals requires.  See, dealing with my disability may lead me to my ideal being.  How cool is that?  For those that haven't reached the conclusion that I have totally gone to La-La land I'll give updates periodically to track my path.  Who knows, it might just work.